Say it Loud and Clear like Mumtaz

After seeing so many tweets about Mumtaz’s dance, I decided to catch up on that day’s episode of Bigg Boss Tamil on hotstar to know why are tweeps making a hullabaloo over a dance?

Yes, it was a brilliant dance for the fast number by Mumtaz. In fact, it was refreshing to see her stunning performance after a very long time.

But it was saddening to see other housemates making fun of her health issues. Everyone in the house knows she has arthritis and other health issues related to it. Does dancing has anything to do with her regular complaints?

Hell, NO.

And, YES, arthritis causes pain in the joints, morning stiffness, swelling in the joints, general body weakness and much more. It’s not easy for them to wake up early and start the day easily like others. They cannot enjoy their regular life like others. Some days are bad, some days are good, and some days are the best for them. The pain and symptoms are unpredictable. A person who is active today may be severely sick the very next day. Doing everyday chores become challenging to them most of the times.

But, women are smart. They soon find a way to draw a strategy to make it work for them. Cook the best one day, and take rest the next day. Do less laundry today, save your energy for the coming days. They learn to live their life as normal as others knowing best about their limitations.

Okay. Coming back to Mumtaz’s dance and battery changing episode. First of all, dancing and replacing batteries are not the same, to a person with arthritis. It’s possible for a person with morning numbness to feeling better after a painkiller shot and dance for a fast number. Changing batteries involve fingers, and she might have had a hard time changing them so that she would have asked for help.

But, what caught my attention was Mumtaz’s explanation to Daniel about it. The weird explanation of hers sure did ring a bell, and I had been there myself several times in my life.

The scene throws light on the hidden health secrets of many women. I did it many times with my family members. I don’t take painkillers every month to escape from dysmenorrhoea. But some days would be worse, and I live on some antispasmodic tablets and painkillers my obstetrician prescribed.

What’s so interesting was, I never tried to explain to my family members it was the painkillers that saved me from the agony. If I had said that I take medicine at times, they would have expected me to take it every month. But, I don’t want to take them regularly. I never used my health issue to escape from my regular chores, but I hid my problems many a time not to disturb the important events and special occasions with my pain.

To avoid the judgemental look family members give seeing me in the kitchen relishing my favourite food, after a painkiller, and the weird reasons and covering up I come up with to convince them why I feel better that day — goodness. Mumtaz kind of did the same that day after realizing that other HMs would comment on her dancing. Daniel acted smart by showing his puzzled expression to the camera and it reflected the real-life reaction women would get in such a situation.

But, one day I decided to come out of my fear-shell. I spoke out. My family members are not so bad as I thought. It was just my assumption. If I am in severe pain, I straightaway call my mother-in-law, or my daughter or my husband to get me my medicine. They do it with utmost care and love. After all, they are my support, and I am theirs.

My mother, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my friends all have come across such situations many a time in their lives. My aunt suffers from arthritis. I have seen her struggling to hold her toothbrush in the morning some days. Some days are better for her. Some days are bad. Some days she will be on medicine to escape the pain. Some days she would surprise us with a grand breakfast that too very early in the morning.

When I discussed it with my Tamil speaking neighbour who follows the show, she said that she too had experienced such situations many a time. So, I felt relieved knowing that my family wasn’t alone. It won’t be a big surprise, if the host asks Mumtaz, how could she dance so great but not change the batteries. Not only the housemates, but even many of the viewers also are not aware of the health problems of their family members.

Why Mumtaz inspired many of the women viewers is, she is upfront about her intentions, a quality many of us would like to possess. And, she articulates her opinions and reasons clearly. Many of us don’t do it just to avoid being labelled as loud-mouthed. She speaks about her illness no matter how others see it, which most of us don’t do it.

The reasons why we women hide our health problems are,

• We don’t want to look like an ill person unfit to be a part of a healthy family.
• To avoid being judged and the speculations the relatives and others will come up with to find out 5Ws and 1H of our illness
• To avoid sympathy.
• To not burden our loved ones with our problems.
• To avoid discrimination

But it’s time to come out of the shell. It’s essential for a woman to keep telling their family members about their health issues until they are heard. It’s more important for a woman to decide who else should know more about her health, than her. Women should be aware of their health in detail. Making the family members know better about their symptoms and signs will get the critical support we may need at times.

• Being ill is not shameful. If you think people will embarrass you with unwanted sympathy, do draw a fine line to them that all you need is acceptance and support, not pity.
• Speak out. Clear the air. Make it clear to your family members that you cannot miss any of the family events, and it’s their responsibility to support you in and out.
• No more weird explanations. Make clear statements about what makes you feel better and what’s not. They should know that the health graph is not a straight line all the time.

We cannot love another person until we love ourselves. We cannot protect another person until we protect ourselves. So, take care much care of yourself. Moreover, let your family know more about your health, be it physical or mental health.

Thanks and regards

Kiddy

((Don’t ask me why did she even come to the show. I see the show as a social experiment that serves as a social mirror. Not all family members are healthy. How do other housemates accept their illness and how supportive are they. If she is allowed into the show, it means, everything is agreed upon by both the ends. So, let’s take see it as a learning curve that makes our life better.))

(Unedited version. I will come back soon to give the final version. Thanks again.)